Monty Python does the new Mage!

I’ve just started reading the new Mage: The Awakening from White Wolf. The original Mage: The Ascension was probably my favourite RPG of all time. So I expected a lot from this entirely new version, unfortunately it doesn’t even half deliver. Some of my opinions can be found here but tbh I’m not too pushed to do some criticisms.

Anyway, there this whole thing about Atlantis which I find sounds really silly. They even have a section in the book where an apprentice is mocking his master by calling him a ‘New Age Hippy’ because of talking about Atlantis.

Well it kinda made me thing of Monty Python. This probably isn’t that funny (I’m not a funny guy) but…

Imagine the scene; Vampires skulking around in a dark alley. Young mortal appears in the entranceway and shouts “I am a Mage of Atlantis… be afraid…”

The Vampires start laughing.

“Yes, my ancestors descended into the Dragon Tomb of Atlantis and became… now here, what are you guys talking about?”

The Vampires are giggling and talking among themselves. One asks “well you see, Mr. Mage, we’re wondering that perhaps you plan to zap us with crystal happy energy?” The Vampires all burst out in laughter.

“Now see here. I’ve studied for years with magic. The island of Atlantis…” (Vampires burst into renewed fits of laughter) “… was real. Ancient dreamers saw the great dragons…” (Vampires fall on the ground laughing) “… ah come on guys. At least pretend to be afraid!”

“Okay, yea your right.” Vampires stop laughing, stand up and compose themselves.

“Right, as I was saying I am a Mage of Atlantis…” (Some of the Vampires giggle a bit) “… now seriously. Can we come to agreement here or something?”

“Are you going to bend spoons at us?” One of them asks and the rest rip into roars of laughter. “Hey my aura needs to be cleaned?”

“I give up.” Mage walks away.

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