Ah, my wonderful daughter!

 For those unfamiliar with Dr. Who, this is a loose translation from the mind of a four-year-old to father-geek level…

“In Dr. Who, the Darleks say ‘Exterminate. Exterminate. Exterminate.’”

It’s the first time I’ve tried roleplaying with Alice. She enjoys stories but as long as they came from books (especially with pictures). But to see her react to the story was brilliant! I didn’t use dice, just played by ear and told her a story where the rabbit’s carrots were taken and Alice the Rabbit had to find out where they went. But it was all the little touches she brought to it that made it.

When the “King and Queen” rabbit asked her to go outside of the burrow to see what had happen to the carrots, Alice hopped out of the bed and hopped around her room grabbing anything that might look like a carrot and threw them onto the bed (where the other rabbits were).

When she sneaked into the Farmer’s house and into the kitchen where the Farmer was a sleep, I asked her what she wanted to do next, she whispered to me “I can’t talk Daddy, the Farmer might wake up!”

It was full of those little moments where she brought her own touches to it! I was surprised it went so well. The only thing is, it’s not a replacement for a bedtime story. She was so awake afterwards, I had to read her a normal story as well to get her to calm down!

Anyway, on the last day of the holidays we drove for 6 hours straight back to Paris. The kids were wrecked from being couped up all day in the car so I took Alice and Tristan, our 1 year old, out to the little park beside the apartment block. There was a small playground, too big for Tristan, too small for Alice but they still played there. As Alice was climbing up the ladder to the slide, she froze, clenching her legs together. “Daddy. I need to go to the toilet.” She looked like she was about to pee right there and then. Okay, okay, I thought. I lifted her down and said “we just have to go out of the park and up the lift. You can hold it that long can’t you?” She nodded her head while biting her lip. I picked up Tristan and started strapping him into the buggy when Alice called out “Daddy, I can pee her!”. She was pointing to a small patch of grass, outside the little playground, beside the very public pavement through the park.

“No Alice. We just have to walk over there and go up the lift.” So I went back to strapping Tristan in and then I looked again over at Alice. She had pulled her trousers and panties down to her feet and was about to try peeing standing up. Two mothers, who were sitting on a bench while their own children played, were in fits of laughter. Of course, I couldn’t pass it off with a witty comment because my pidgin French is awful. I had to finish with Tristan and then pull up Alice’s trousers and walk off with my bright red cheeks. Arg.

It’s a brand of sugar, in a pink colour, called “Daddy”. That’s right you can buy your Sugar Daddy in France in a pink container.

And then I came across the “Plate of Terror!” On one of my first trips to France, I was given a menu in a restaurant that had bad English translations on it and in the desert section they had for Chocolate Mouse: “Chocolate Moss”. This time, I was surprised to find the “Plat du Terroir”!

Plat Du Terroir on the Menu

Note: Terroir actually means Countryside (i.e. Countryside Dish) and it was gorgeous, hot French cheese and potate and lovely ham. Yum.

“You wouldn’t eat me Daddy. My head is too big to fit in your mouth.”

To her Maman:

“You’re my Best Mummy”

(Does she have more than one mummy?)

Don’t say “Bloody Hell”, say “Oh My God”.

(last time)

(Sorry about the low quality, I snapped this with my mobile phone camera)

“Don’t say sugar, Daddy. Say shit.”

“Features gratuitous country & western music.”

Oh the horror!