It’s surprising how Halloween has changed for me over the years. This year was wonderful. Alice, my three year old daughter, had a whale of a time going from house to house and saying “trick or tricks” (what I don’t get is, she was well able to say “trick or treat” while walking between the houses…) and filling up her bag. And there was such a great atmosphere on the street with neighbours actually talking to each other and interacting with the local kids. A few years ago (okay, many years ago), it was all about horror movies and parties for me. I didn’t catch one horror movie all week!
I can’t wait till next year! 
“Daddy, you sit there and I’ll read you a story”.
“Okay”.
Alice (our nearly-three year-old toddler) picks up her Maman’s romance novel and randomly opens it. “Once-apon-a-time-one-day, a group of yellow ducks go down to the swimming pool.” Alice goes to the next page. “They scream ‘AAAAAAAAAAA’.”
“Why do they scream?”
Alice shows me her most serious angry face look, squinting her eyes and squeezing her mouth tight and says… “Be quiet!”
My mother-in-law works for a publisher in France, kid’s books mostly. She gets piles of free books for kids. During Christmas, Alice my daughter, was playing with the pile of books and came across a book entitled “De la petite taupe qui voulait savoir qui lui avait fait sur la tete”. She loved it.
The book is about a mole who happens to have someone poo on his head! He then goes asks each animal did they poo on his head and compares their poo with the poo on his head. When he finds out who did it, he has his little revenge.
Here’s a scan of when he questions a goat:
Brilliant. I think it’s originally German. I have found an English translation on Amazon.co.uk called “The Story of the Little Mole Who Knew It Was None of His Business”. I love these subversive children’s books. Alice gets a great kick out of it saying “Hey Goat!! Did you poo on my head?!?” “No, it wasn’t me!“. And then she pretends to take the poo of the page and plonk it on my head!
Little Update #1: I just noticed on the Amazon page for the book that it links to “The Gas We Pass: the Story of Farts”. Excellent!
Little Update #2: megglesmcgoo points out that:
Alice mentions that book in The vicar of Dibley
Previously on thedeadone.net, I shared some of the amazing “facts” that Alice, our nearly three years old daughter, had discovered. I’ve got two four new ones for you.
I’ll keep you updated on these astounding facts as Alice reveals them to us.
I’m a bit of Alice-in-Wonderland-o-phile, so imagine my joy when my daughter (called Alice) was given a DVD called “Alice through the looking glass”. Now it looks absolutely terrible from the cover. But then I looked at the voice actors… Mr. T as the Jabberwocky! Wow. (You know I don’t recall the Jabberwocky actually talking in the original books).
Anyway, last Saturday morning, Alice decides she’ll watch it and that it no longer has a scary cover. We sit down and start watching. It’s bad. Very bad. The songs are atrocity and the rewriting of the original story is so hacky and obviously designed to fit into some “good for kids” formula. The animation is on the lame side of the 80s. It’s so bad, I fall asleep within ten minutes after the introduction of the “fool” (a character certainly not in the books). I only woke up at the end credits. Darn, I never even got to hear Mr. T as the Jabberwocky.
But I’m not willing to sit through it again… (but I may have to…)
Alice, our daughter, is now 2 (nearly 3) years old. I’m astounded every day by her simple logic, stringing conditions along with “and” and “or”. And she’s becoming more and more aware of the world around her, amazing us by her ever increasing comprehension. Sometimes she feels she needs to explain it to us. But then her imagination kicks in… so theses are some facts about the world, according to our toddler, that may amaze you.
Read More…
… do not flush the toliet first without checking what’s in it.
A whole weekend without a toliet is not fun.
And it’s not as if we can be angry, I mean, she was trying to go the toliet by her self and just put the empty toliet roll, with the toliet paper she used, in.
… has come and gone. I was excited about Halloween this year because it would have been Alice’s, my two-years-and-a-bit-old daughter, first real Halloween, with costumes, trick-or-treats and candy candy candy!
We got her this cute devil-witch costume, with horns, tail and a dress. Admittly she hasn’t been in the mood. More teeth are coming up, she has a bit of a cold and she’s not liking being home after spending the night in Grannies. In the morning, it was a struggle to get her up. When she was up and dressed in her costume (the crèche were having a little Halloween party), she wanted to take it all off. Anyway, we got here into the crèche and off she went, getting the “awws” and “oos” as expected!
Enter problem 1. We left work at the normal time. Which is close to 6pm. The trick-or-treaters generally start at 6pm. We should have left earlier.
Enter problem 2. It was bloody freezing. I waited for my wife, Sophie, to pick me up outside and after ten minutes I was chattering my teeth and doing mini-squats to try and stay warm! We couldn’t let Alice outside in this weather with the flimsy costume we had bought her! We kinda decided that we wouldn’t take her trick-or-treating tonight. She was still too young and probably wouldn’t get it.
But, my god, she was full of beans when we picked her up. They had made a little trick-or-treat bag during the day and she clung to it like it was treasure. And as we arrived home, kids descended on the house asking for sweets. The costumes were great and there was a buzz on the street. So we went to plan B (invented on the spur of the moment). Warm red coat and the horns and tails from her costume. She got the idea of trick-or-treating straight away. Asking for more from the first house and in the second house walked, bold as brash, into the house. Returning with her prize, she decided to try and taste all the sweets! Bit of parental control needed there.
Then she wanted to see the “big fires” (for those who don’t speak toddler, that’s fireworks). So I carried her outside, in her big red coat. But the sounds, the explosions and the lights frightened her. The “big fires” became “scary fires”.
And then she went to bed, of her own accord mostly. She didn’t want dinner and she was cranky and tired.
So endth Alice’s first real Halloween.
– Got some great photos too, but haven’t had the chance to post them yet. You’ll just have to use your imagination!