Children cannot cease but find new ways to embarrass their parents. Alice, our 4-year-old, actually is not that bad but there was certainly, shall we say, a public incident, while on holidays. We were staying in this lovely old country house and we had got this great big inflatable pool out the back. The kids were hopping in and out all day long and we had allowed them to take up the habit of peeing on the grass behind a tree (rather than run across the hard stone floors inside while wet). Alice’s older cousin, who is a boy, stayed for a week and she started copying him, learning that she could pee standing up if she was wearing just her swimsuit.
Anyway, on the last day of the holidays we drove for 6 hours straight back to Paris. The kids were wrecked from being couped up all day in the car so I took Alice and Tristan, our 1 year old, out to the little park beside the apartment block. There was a small playground, too big for Tristan, too small for Alice but they still played there. As Alice was climbing up the ladder to the slide, she froze, clenching her legs together. “Daddy. I need to go to the toilet.” She looked like she was about to pee right there and then. Okay, okay, I thought. I lifted her down and said “we just have to go out of the park and up the lift. You can hold it that long can’t you?” She nodded her head while biting her lip. I picked up Tristan and started strapping him into the buggy when Alice called out “Daddy, I can pee her!”. She was pointing to a small patch of grass, outside the little playground, beside the very public pavement through the park.
“No Alice. We just have to walk over there and go up the lift.” So I went back to strapping Tristan in and then I looked again over at Alice. She had pulled her trousers and panties down to her feet and was about to try peeing standing up. Two mothers, who were sitting on a bench while their own children played, were in fits of laughter. Of course, I couldn’t pass it off with a witty comment because my pidgin French is awful. I had to finish with Tristan and then pull up Alice’s trousers and walk off with my bright red cheeks. Arg.
While on my holidays last month in France, I came across some humorous “Fringlish”. Check this out:
It’s a brand of sugar, in a pink colour, called “Daddy”. That’s right you can buy your Sugar Daddy in France in a pink container.
And then I came across the “Plate of Terror!” On one of my first trips to France, I was given a menu in a restaurant that had bad English translations on it and in the desert section they had for Chocolate Mouse: “Chocolate Moss”. This time, I was surprised to find the “Plat du Terroir”!
Plat Du Terroir on the Menu
Note: Terroir actually means Countryside (i.e. Countryside Dish) and it was gorgeous, hot French cheese and potate and lovely ham. Yum.
Some more gems from my three year old daughter:
“You wouldn’t eat me Daddy. My head is too big to fit in your mouth.”
To her Maman:
“You’re my Best Mummy”
(Does she have more than one mummy?)
Alice (our 3-year old daughter) offers us her great wisdom:
Don’t say “Bloody Hell”, say “Oh My God”.
(last time)
Alice (our three year old daughter) has recently developed a love of dinosaurs and this is the result:
(Sorry about the low quality, I snapped this with my mobile phone camera)
“Don’t say sugar, Daddy. Say shit.”
So there I was scrolling through the TV listings and I saw “Howling: New Moon Rising” on Zone Horror. I thought interesting title, maybe some sort of really bad werewolf movie… so I pulled up the blurb on the show and I discovered that it… wait for it…
Read More…
Saw this article on BBC news with the title “Tea ‘healthier’ drink than water”!
I’m a big tea drinker. I don’t drink coffee but I drink copious amounts of tea. My mug in work is about twice the size of a normal mug. However I always thought that tea, because it’s hot and full of caffeine, that it dehydrates. In fact, I would always have a small bottle of water nearby to make sure I drank enough liquids during the day. But according to this research:
Tea not only rehydrates as well as water does, but it can also protect against heart disease and some cancers, UK nutritionists found.
Aha! No need to hydrate when drinking tea! I took this advice to heart last week, and after my lunch-time gym session, had a nice warm cup of tea. Normally after the gym, I drink as much water as I can and avoid drinking tea till much later that evening. I noticed no ill effects!
They found clear evidence that drinking three to four cups of tea a day can cut the chances of having a heart attack.
Some studies suggested tea consumption protected against cancer, although this effect was less clear-cut.
Other health benefits seen included protection against tooth plaque and potentially tooth decay, plus bone strengthening.
Now my only problem is that I’m drinking tea all the time. I don’t have that guilt “twang” if I’ve hit my fourth mug of tea that morning!
Sadly, there is a big-fucking-disclaimer. Even though:
Dr Ruxton stressed that the work was independent.
It is important to note:
The Tea Council provided funding for the work.
I managed to take this photo of a strange occult ritual being performed in Dublin. Whats worse several Redbrick members were involved; duke, tomo, dshagins, dimples, p zircon and grimnar… I overheard mention of werewolves. We’re they trying to summon such a monster?
